"Jaded"

Here I am so impure and jaded.
My innocence stolen. Confiscated.
My virtue stolen like a precious jewel.
And I can’t get it back no matter what I do.

I remember his hands on my skin~
They were old, wrinkled, full of sin.
He wanted to put his mark on my flesh.
He was nothing more than an unwelcome guest.

So now what is left but a world of pain?
I’m left with a struggle to keep myself sane.
This is my legacy, inherited through abuse.
I cannot escape it. What’s the use?

My thoughts are dark, nasty, and macabre.
My brain swells and burns, making me sob.
What’s the cure for my pus filled mind?
An anecdote is so hard to find.

I see a light, but it’s murky and hidden.
Completely out of reach and forbidden.
My heart is like stone, hardened and cold.
I can’t give it away. Like me, it’s been sold.

Cannot sleep at night, I toss and turn.
Nightmares creep in and make be burn.
I search for peace but it’s so elusive.
And I’ve become hateful, hardened, and abusive.

Hatred, like a disease, has infested my life.
I thrive on discord, anger, and strife.
Those are the only feelings that let me know I’m alive.
What a price to pay, just to survive.

I’ve got to end it, I can’t go on this way.
My humanity dies slowly, day by day.
Shivering and crying in this corner of hell.
Old man, you ruined my life and you did it well!

I am a monster, that’s what I am.
A demon of oppression I can no longer stand.
I’ll just close the door and turn off the light.
And slip into the darkness. The finality of night.

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