"Jaded"

Here I am so impure and jaded.
My innocence stolen. Confiscated.
My virtue stolen like a precious jewel.
And I canít get it back no matter what I do.

I remember his hands on my skin~
They were old, wrinkled, full of sin.
He wanted to put his mark on my flesh.
He was nothing more than an unwelcome guest.

So now what is left but a world of pain?
Iím left with a struggle to keep myself sane.
This is my legacy, inherited through abuse.
I cannot escape it. Whatís the use?

My thoughts are dark, nasty, and macabre.
My brain swells and burns, making me sob.
Whatís the cure for my pus filled mind?
An anecdote is so hard to find.

I see a light, but itís murky and hidden.
Completely out of reach and forbidden.
My heart is like stone, hardened and cold.
I canít give it away. Like me, itís been sold.

Cannot sleep at night, I toss and turn.
Nightmares creep in and make be burn.
I search for peace but itís so elusive.
And Iíve become hateful, hardened, and abusive.

Hatred, like a disease, has infested my life.
I thrive on discord, anger, and strife.
Those are the only feelings that let me know Iím alive.
What a price to pay, just to survive.

Iíve got to end it, I canít go on this way.
My humanity dies slowly, day by day.
Shivering and crying in this corner of hell.
Old man, you ruined my life and you did it well!

I am a monster, thatís what I am.
A demon of oppression I can no longer stand.
Iíll just close the door and turn off the light.
And slip into the darkness. The finality of night.

Copyright © 1992 Wednesday Moon. All Rights Reserved.

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